Respect: a word worth paying attention to!
How much do you respect others? Is this level of respect rock solid or prone to be as delicate as an eggshell?
How much do others respect YOU? Do you inspire respect from others on a consistent basis? Or are your words so totally out of alignment with your actions that NO one respects you?
Let’s find out – shall we? Time for a couple reality checks.
The respect question is more often than not – an awkward one. Unless you’re in one of those tender moments where you share from your deepest levels of love, OR you’re in a heated argument, a conversation concerning respect levels isn’t a common one!
By the end of this article, you’ll discover how this respect question SHOULD be talked about on a regular basis.
Ready for your first realty check?
First, write down 10 names of people you see on a regular basis. Family, friends, coworkers, classmates, professionals, etc.
Next, on a scale from 1 – 10, how would you rate your level of respect for these folks? Meaning, when you think of someone, how do YOU FEEL about your level of respect for them?
1 = you don’t respect them at all.
10 = you respect them 200%!
Write your score next to each person’s name.
Here’s your second reality check – a flip of the first realty check.
On a scale from 1 – 10, how would these same ten people rate YOU in regards to how they feel about you RESPECTING them? Meaning, if you asked them,
“Hey, I have a personal question for you. I sincerely want an honest answer. Here’s the question: do you feel respect from me? If so, how much?”
Then share this scale with them:
1 = they don’t think you respect them at all.
10 = they feel totally respected.
Write these scores down next to your score (that you did in the first reality check).
Dare to ask even three people this question? Come on! I dare you! It may be awkward. It’s COMPLETELY worth your time if you want to increase your levels of respect 360!
And the plot thickens . . .
This last step is THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP!
Compare the results of your first reality check (your scores) with the results of your second reality check (their scores). Example:
You score your Mom as a 10. You completely, totally respect her (even if you don’t always agree with her or even know here all that well).
Your Mom – when asked to give an honest answer back – says she feels you respect her about half the time, so she scores you a 6.
BINGO! We have a WINNER here! (Everyone is a winner in this game – no matter the results.) If there’s a gap between your two scores, use this gap to learn about yourself! While this learning may be hard, it’s well worth the effort! (Need help? I’m ready to help when you’re ready to work!)
Okay, you lost me Soul – what hard work are you talking about here!
The hard work I’m talking about is some of the hardest work we can ever do! It’s called waking up to what your facts are more so than what your fictions (your inner stories) are. Your fact might be that our Mom scored you a 6. Your fiction might be you deserve a 10. Maybe you can ask your Mom, “Mom, what can I do to get a 10?”
Yes, if you do this hard work, you’ll discover how to earn and give respect, effortlessly.
This work is some of the most rewarding work there is to do! The best part about this personal work is it always stays with you. What you learn about yourself lasts a lifetime! What other gee-gaw or doo-dad (these are advanced technical terms for stuff, things, etc.) lasts you a life time ehh?
Since 2006 when I published Pay Me What I’m Worth, I observe countless people do extreme physically hard work to AVOID doing something as simple as looking in the mirror and saying , “I LOVE MYSELF!” As we do our ‘heart-work’ we lesson our ‘hard-work.’
How about this, try this one on for size . . .
Think of ONE person you COMPLETELY 200% respect. You’d NEVER in your WILDEST dreams EVER think of NOT respecting them, for any reason. When they ask you to do something, you do it right? Could you imagine saying NO to this person? Would you do MORE than what they asked for in the hopes that they’d see how much you respect them? Would this person have to do something so totally unthinkable before your respect level would nudge just one point?
As you ponder about this person, do some ‘reverse engineering.’ Here’s some questions to ponder to help discover how you’ve come to respect a person so much:
How long have you known this person? Time isn’t always an indicator of respect levels. Example: new recruits of any type generally repect their leaders or they don’t last long.
Does this person do what they say most the time? Is their word their deed? If so, how often?
Has this person earned YOUR respect? If so, how? If not, what’s missing?
Should you decide to actually give this article some serious attention (do a little hard work), get ready for a mountain of ah-ha’s and possibly a few hearty oh-no’s? Invest just 10 minutes a day on this article and you’ll quickly discover MORE about yourself than ever imagined. Savor the process. Be kind. Fire your pefectionist and critic. There’s NO room for shame, guilt, worry, etc. while you do this personal work.
Be sure to share your results back here in the comments section! The more YOU share, the MORE we learn! Come on now! You KNOW you’re a smart person – share some of that wisdom, paaaaallllleeeese?
Time to wrap up! This is the second of a 12 part series on powerful key words related to the word worth. These key words provide a goldmine of value to discover your goldmine of worth in all forms.
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